Rethinking Self-Care at Home and Work: Finding What Truly Works for You
Note to Reader: This article is about redefining self-care in a way that is realistic, compassionate, and accessible. It challenges the polished, consumer-driven narratives of self-care and instead highlights small, supportive actions like meeting basic needs without pressure, setting boundaries, building structure, and embracing low-energy routines. By shifting the focus from perfection to practicality, it encourages readers to release guilt and create care strategies that genuinely support wellbeing.
Topic: Neurodivergent Self-Care, Realistic Self-Care, Executive Function Support, Low Energy Living, Inclusive Wellbeing
Self-care is often presented in a way that feels polished, predictable, and, at times, entirely unrealistic. Mainstream narratives conjure images of long baths, yoga retreats, and perfectly scheduled “me-time,” often accompanied by the expectation of buying products or services. While these approaches can be enjoyable or beneficial, they don’t reflect the everyday reality of self-care for many people, especially those who manage work, family responsibilities, neurodivergence, or long-term health conditions. For people who struggle with energy levels, executive functioning, or unpredictable demands, self-care can feel like another task on an overflowing to-do list, something aspirational rather than attainable. But self-care isn’t about perfection, luxury, or ticking off a checklist. It is about finding the ways that bring you calm throughout your day.
The Dominant View of Self-Care
The dominant narrative around self-care often misses what we as neurodivergent people actually need. It tends to be:
Consumer-driven – Focused on expensive products, spa days, or luxury experiences that aren’t accessible to all.
Time-consuming – Based on the assumption that self-care requires large, uninterrupted blocks of time.
One-size-fits-all – Centred on activities that might not be helpful, sustainable, or enjoyable for everyone.
Overly simplistic – Framed as a formula to be followed, rather than a flexible, evolving process.
For many, self-care isn’t about indulgence. It’s about getting through our day in a peaceful way.
What Self-Care Really Looks Like:
True self-care doesn’t have to be grand or time-intensive. Often, it’s the small, meaningful actions that help prevent burnout and maintain daily well-being. Here are some realistic, compassionate approaches to self-care:
1. Meeting Basic Needs Without Pressure
Sometimes, just covering the basics is enough. Self-care doesn’t have to be elaborate or ideal—it can be as simple as grabbing something quick to eat when cooking feels overwhelming, or keeping water nearby so you don’t need to rely on memory or motivation. It might mean resting during the day, even if your routine doesn’t align with what others consider “productive.” Meeting your needs doesn’t have to be perfect—it just has to be kind. Wherever you are, whatever your energy level, there is value in tending to yourself gently.
2. Setting Boundaries as Self-Care
Self-care isn’t only about doing more—it’s often about doing less. Setting boundaries can mean saying no to social plans that drain you or stepping back from conversations that leave you feeling disregarded. It might involve limiting contact with people who don’t respect your limits or finding low-effort ways to manage things like emails or admin tasks. Protecting your energy is an act of care. It’s not avoidance—it’s a way of preserving your capacity to show up for the things that truly matter to you.
3. Low-Energy, Low-Pressure Self-Care
Relaxation doesn’t have to look like spa days or mindfulness sessions. For many people, especially during low-energy moments, self-care might mean repetitive movements, stimming, or comforting routines that offer predictability. It could be watching the same familiar TV shows, listening to a favourite playlist on loop, or adjusting your environment with softer lighting, noise-cancelling headphones, or a quiet space. Embracing sameness and soothing inputs can be deeply regulating. There’s no need to force spontaneity when what your mind and body need is safety and calm.
4. Building Structure and Support
You don’t have to manage everything on your own. Creating structure and seeking support are not signs of weakness—they’re practical acts of self-care. This might include reaching out for therapy, coaching, or peer connection, or using tools like planners, timers, or reminders to ease cognitive load. Delegating tasks when possible can help prevent burnout, and building supportive routines allows your energy to go toward living, not just coping. Support is not indulgent—it’s essential.
5. Self-Care at Work
In professional settings, self-care may look different, but it is no less important. It might involve leaning into your strengths instead of conforming to rigid standards, requesting adjustments like flexible deadlines, reduced meetings, or quieter workspaces. Taking micro-breaks throughout the day, rather than waiting for a single stretch of rest, can help manage energy and attention more effectively. These small, intentional acts can create a more sustainable work rhythm, allowing you to care for your well-being without stepping away from your goals.
Letting Go of the Guilt
One of the most powerful forms of self-care is releasing the guilt around rest and redefining what counts. You don’t need to earn rest, nor do you have to justify your preferences. If rewatching a comfort show, sticking to the same meal each day, or hyper-focusing on a hobby helps you feel grounded, it counts.
True self-care is personal. It’s about tuning into your needs and responding in a way that’s practical and sustainable. It may not look neat or follow the expected script, and that’s not only okay—it’s necessary.
How do you prioritise self-care?
Share your experiences on our ND Perspective Forum - https://nd-perspective.mn.co/
Supporting and Celebrating our Neurodivergent Community,
Jess x x